andiaradan

Dear Next-Door-Neighbor,

I have several problems with you. Not the least of which is that your son's dog (or dogs, I don't know which, as I was not home, and got the news from my parents) mauled my cat to death several years ago. This was bad enough, but then you promised and swore up and down that you would pay the vet bills. You didn't. Then, two days later, the offending animal(s) are no longer on your property. One day after THAT, you are swearing up and down and on every bible you see that it was not your dog OR your son's dog that did it. I'm guessing you probably figured we couldn't afford litigation. You'd've been right, only because if I COULD afford it, I would have been all over your bum for the vet bills. See, some of us actually CARE about our pets.

Combine that with the fact that you are antisocial, borderline hostile, and just overall somewhat rude no matter how friendly we try to be, and I don't like you much.

The latest is the funniest bit though. Recently a little black cat (half-grown, adolescent black male with the sweetest face EVER omg) started hanging around our back patio. We have an adopted stray that we feed, and SBC (Small Black Cat) has recently started eating out of his food bowl. When SBC finally let us introduce ourselves to him, we found out that he is the most loving, adorable little cat EVER omg. He is affectionate, vocal, and has just the most adorable purr.

I took my garbage cans around the other morning as you and yours, Next-Door-Neighbor, were just coming home from who knows where the hell, and SBC had followed me from the back patio all the way around to the side of the house, and out the front gate (since I had to pick up some trash some jerkface left on my front lawn), and you watched with this look on your face like you were smelling something foul. Judging (probably unfairly, but I don't really care) by your rumpled, disheveled state, bushy hair that does not appear to have seen a comb in EVER, and general overall unwashed appearance (seriously, they look sort of hobo-ey ALL THE TIME and I don't care if I'm being a jerk), and you utter the following words, phrased with just the right mixture of malice, rudeness, and distaste:


NDN: You -do- know that's my cat.
Me: -thinking: pokerfacepokerfacepokerface- No, I didn't. He sure spends a lot of time in my backyard, though I've never tried to coax him there. (I haven't. He eats our adopted stray's food. Started it all on his own, the adorable little bugger. We didn't know if he actually HAD a home because he spends so much time in our yard.)
NDN: -Looks at me like I'm stupid, turns and goes in her house-


Now, see, this interchange infuriates me. If your'e going to have a pet, act like a godsbedamned pet owner, FFS. Don't just pretend to care because you see someone being nicer to your cat than you are.

Oh, and the topper?

This morning, I go to take my laundry out to the washer, and I see SBC (who we nicknamed Kip for reasons that are told best in a LONG LONG STORY) on our patio again, once again eating from the adopted stray's dish. And I don't have the heart to shoo him off, because he is sweet and adorable and loving like woah.

And then I doubletake.

He has a collar with a jingly bell on it.

Now, I am annoyed AND insulted. What kind of jackass assumes it's MY problem they can't keep their friggin' cat in their own yard? Outdoor cats roam. It's what they DO. I have several already. And I know which ones are mine, because 1) they are indoor cats, and 2) I WAS PRESENT WHEN THEY WERE BORN.

So, dear Next-Door-Neighbor, next time you want to treat someone like a moron, do so in a way that doesn't make you look even more retarded. I would be ANY amount that SBC would not have a collar if she hadn't ever seen him wander into my backyard. ANY amount.

And if you love your cat so very much, keep him in your damned house.


DIAF (QUICKLYPLZ),
Andi

[x-posted to the Tower of Time forums for maximized rantination.]

Yay.  New journal.  I will post in it.