andiaradan

I come here exasperated by those who choose to take the asshole away from certain characters.

Fortunately, I don't mean the body part!

( Could get long winded... )

A couple short sucks and a major WTF from the last couple of weeks at work. In no particular order.


No, ma'am, you can't bring your dog into the store. Store policy is "no pets except service animals". The (admittedly cute) elaborately groomed little long-haired lapdog you're carrying under your arm is clearly not a service animal; ergo, you cannot bring it into the store. You ignored the sign on the door, so I have to inform you verbally. Giving me a frosty look, then snapping "Forget it!" at the employee trying to get you into the service queue, then turning on your overpriced heel and storming out with your nose in the air won't change store policy. You'll get the same response at our other locations, too. Next time just leave the dog at home.

The restrooms are available to any customer who asks after them. Grumbling to me as I show you to them, as they're in the back section of the store, that spending x amount of money should mean you're "entitled to use the bathroom" as though we hold the restrooms hostage until you buy a bunch of useless techno garbage doesn't make you less of a tool. Continuing to grumble and expecting me to sympathise with your plight doesn't, either. Grow the fuck up.

Lastly, you. You can arse yourself to get out of the car and come into buy junk, but when your grandchild needs the restroom, you suddenly can't sit up, much less leave the car, so your first response is to pull into the alleyway behind the store and have said grandchild stand their while you unfasten her trousers so she can relieve herself right there in the alleyway. Oh my gods, what the fuck is wrong with you? It is well after nightfall, we don't exactly have a low crime rate in this part of town, and you'd rather your young grandchild drop her trousers in a dark alleyway and urinate in public than get your lazy ass out of the car and walk her back into the store to use the nice, clean, well-lit, safe restroom. I'm not supposed to walk her back in for you – I am not a babysitter while on duty – but I will anyway because what the fucking fuck?! On the highly unlikely chance I get fired for this, I'll be damned glad it was this and not being a nervous moron in front of the company owner.


I hate people so much sometimes.

So, it's Christmas. And for your (usually) friendly customer service chick, this means it's time for her to remember how to gift wrap presents! Yay ^_^

... Or not. It's something I actually hate about Christmas. We started gift wrapping yesterday and this will continue until Christmas Eve. Two of us do gift wrapping, while one of us mans the customer service desk. I was hoping for the desk job, but I'm rostered on for wrapping for the next week and a half!

Seriously, people turn into the rudest assholes when it comes to gift wrapping. We offer our gift wrapping for FREE, lest a donation to charity if you want to. We don't force you to donate, but most people do cos we're wrapping their stuff for free.

Under the cut is the rules I wish I could post on a big sign and put next to our wrapping booth.

( Rules to get your stuff gift-wrapped )

Hi, this is just my second week of being a cashier, and this is my first job in retail. I work at a popular store that's in probably all the malls in the US, it's been in every mall I've been in. I do have a bunch of small stories with WTF'ery of customers, but for now I'll post today's event since it still strikes me as o.O

This chick comes into my line, and I'm ready to check her out. She hands me a gift set that's a little pouch with the stuff inside. I do the spiel of asking how she is doing and if she found everything okay, and she interrupts me asking if she can have the pouch/gift set, but she wants different contents inside instead of the ones that are in it.

I know that the store is real hard assed about inventory, so I tell her that we can't do that since the gift sets come just like that, while the individual contents in the store are counted as a totally separate thing. Then my co worker had to undermine me (she was working on the register next to me) saying that's not true, but I asked a manager, and the manager confirmed that I was right, but the manager told her that since we're having a sale, the lady can get the individual contents for the same price and use one of our free giftwraps to put them in.

So the chick seems gung ho about that, and she goes and does that, and life is good again, until she comes back to my line to check out. She found another type of gift set with what she wanted, so I go to ring it up, and I saw that it doesn't have a tag for me to scan. So I go and try to find one exactly like it to scan, and the managers told me that when I do that, I give the customer the one they picked out, and I keep the one with the tag to put back for later, so whenever someone else picks it out in the future, the tag can be scanned and all is good. I had a real hard time finding it since the chick lied to me of where she found it, but the other manager said she'll find it for me and for me to go ahead and scan her other things. So I go and do that.

The manager comes with the other gift set, I scan, and put it on the back counter and I'm bagging the gift set she chose, and then she stops me asking if she can have the one with the tag. The gift set she picked out is in the same condition as the one I scanned, just the tag fell off for some reason. I tell her the same explanation as I said in the last paragraph, but that got her tiffed off and she said, "Forget it, just take everything off" and she left.

I'm just kind of scratching my head about the whole situation, I'm not sure if I was in the wrong, even the lady that was behind her in the line seemed kind of confused about the whole thing. I am learning with this job that I really love people that are understanding and don't get huffy with me when I ask for drivers licenses, etc., they really do brighten up my day!

Okay, Sir and/or Madame Annoyed-Message-Board-Poster. Let me see if I understand you correctly.

1) You hate pairing X.
2) Pairing X has recently become canon.
3) Approximately 85% of all of our fandom's fics prominently feature pairing X.

So far, you have my sympathy, in as much as it's annoying to constantly have something you hate seemingly thrust into your face all the time. I know how it feels.

However, my sympathy was short lived, in large part because of point number four:

4) You feel that the best course of action in rectifying this matter is to order all writers of pairing X to stop writing fics of said pairing immediately.

This makes you look kind of ridiculous. So now, as a means of response to your demands, I'm going to write double the amount of fics for pairing X than I had already planned.

Don't worry, I'll dedicate them all to you.

Love and kisses,
The Minno

Mine from... two years ago? My computer was trashed and I no longer have all my blanks on it. I have them on disk... I can't open the disk drive and need to take my computer in. Does anyone have the blank for this? What a way to learn my computer is broken, again.

Alright, I work in a clothing store. We do not accept EBT (foodstamp cards/IDK what else you can purchase with them). I have no idea why we would.

WTF:

Tonight this lady comes in and she is all "Do you accept EBT?" I looked at her very confused and she repeated herself. I said no we don't. She was like "Well, Bath and Body Works did it for me. Can you at least try?" I agreed to trying. What does she hand me? She hands me an EBT card with half of it missing. I got the magnetic strip, but the area with the account numbers/name? Gone. Really? You.. want me to take this? And believe it belongs to you? Do people do this for you? Yeah, no thank you.

Edit
I obviously need to make myself VERY, VERY, VERY clear. The card had been broken in half. The only part of the card which phsyically exsisted was the magnetic strip (and well, the fron part of the card like where the strip is).

This is more of a WTF, because I'm not fully sure which planet this woman called home.
I was called out of my busy department to help a lady look at our display of boxed Christmas cards. That was a little weird, but whatever, I figured she was in a hurry or shortsighted or something.
ME: yo, sup.
WL: Weird lady

WL: So I'm buying them cards as a gift. They're Catholic. I don't know the faith.
ME: Ok, there's lots here with religios connotation *picks up one with pic of Nativity on it* We've got several more along this line.
(this was really, really obvious, but I'm being cool.)
WL: Ok. I also need one with no animals on it. They're over sixty.
ME: *not sure what age has to do with animals) Ok...um...here's one that might work. *picks up box with a single snowflake and the word "NOEL" on it*.
WL: No, that's no good. They aren't French.
ME: ...
WL: *grabbing cards with stained-glass pic of Mary and Child and shoving them under my nose* Here, is this religious?
ME: ...It's the Virgin Mary. So, yes.
WL: GREAT you've been wonderful kthxbai!

and she leaves, without having bought any cards at all. GAH!

Witnessed suck, been watching for a couple months actually, but today it got weird.
A few months back we did a major promotion all around, and I took my coworker's spot when she moved up. Unfortunately, this means I apparently inherited her stalker customer.
This guy is roughly eighty years old, and likes to talk. A lot. I timed him once, just to see how much of my time he was tilling to waste, and got to half an hour before deciding to go back to my job. I spoke to my now-promoted coworker about him, and she told me all about how he has been doing this weekly for two years, just coming downtown to buy gasoline and stopping by the store to talk, to anyone, for hours. Then he decided that his grandson and my coworker were made for each other, and spent a lot of time updating her about his doings and trying to hook them up.
Today, he dropped off an envelope with her initials on it full of pictures cut from magazines that he said "reminded him of her."
They were mostly nude, in bathing suits.
All us of know him by sight now, and I have been instructed to throw him the hell out next time he comes by!

( NWS...Unless You Teach Sex Ed )

Edited to fix LJ-cut.

Apologies! Please delete!

So, as some may recall, I work at Giant Cable Company that Owns Your Soul.

To the woman who was (thankfully) my last caller of the day:

So, let me get this straight.

Your internet wasn't working, and, you set up a repair call for a technician to be there this morning. However, your internet began to work properly again, so, you called in to tell us "hai gaiz it's working!" and to cancel the appointment.

So, now that it's not working again, this is our fault? We should have told you that your internet would break again, and forbade you from canceling your appointment?

I'm sorry, you want a technician out there RIGHT NOW to fix this, because you're losing money?

Well, I am very sorry, madame, but I lack both the capacity to see into the future and to pull another living person from the depths of my backside. And frankly I don't give a flying fig about this alleged money loss as you are subscribed to residential service and it is plainly stated in your subscriber agreement that technically you shouldn't be using the service for business without a business line. You have to wait in line for a tech like everyone else. And frankly being it's less than 24 hours from THIS report of service issue you should be thankful I could even pull THAT off for your ungrateful ass.

Oh, you want my name? Oh, I sound like a broken record and I should do a recording for my company because you never get what you want and only get the same scripted answers? You're going to sue me personally? Have fun with that, ma'am.

Yes, fuck you very much too, ma'am. Clearly my intellect AND pocketbook is inferior to yours because you threw a tantrum and didn't get your way.

I do thank you for choosing my company, and making sure to end my day with a bang.

... bitch.

If you were writing a A/U with a good future for Severely Snapped (copyright MAD magazine) I see no reason why in order to have this good future (has a relationship with Lily, doesn't join the Death Eater, Lily doesn't die etc etc) he must be in Gryffindor. Why can't he have a good future and still be in Slytherin?

So I was here a while ago and posted up some of the shitty profiles for a guild that my friend wound up joining and is now trying to instruct people how to not be shitty at making profiles. Italics for my comments again.

( This is actually fun )Gaia amuses the shit out of me. Next time I'll post some RP examples since I ran out of profiles. Because I like inflicting pain on the unwitting masses.

We're doing a zombiepocalypse game. The breakout has just reached epidemic proportions. This is also pan-fandom with a retooling of most of the characters so they're not over powered. That works out great! In fact, it's very fun. We also picked this up after letting it alone for a while so you wanted to switch out one character for another. That's cool, I've known you forever and we roleplay on a daily basis together. We're best friends, even.

Then you find out one character, who you already knew would had to have picked up a love interest somewhere to have a son for the sequel, has a canon love interest. Yeah, okay, I can see why you're pissed but...

but...

but...

...suddenly having your pup, whose already suffering from a torn ligament with the only person with medical knowledge being the mortician, go into a sudden suicidal slump for no apparent reason? Please, please, please turn that around! My pup would be heartbroken if yours died and she's the one who thinks she's got the worst skill set.

Please don't take your IRL frustrations IC. It makes the game harder to play in.

Harley dealership, I usually work in the clothing dept but I cover service when they need it.


Dear Sir,

You bought a USED TEXAS CHOPPER from a Harley dealership! It is a LIMITED WARRANTY! I assure you, it doesn't cover "a funny noise" 6 months after you bought it when you obviously BEAT the PISS out of that bike. That noise is NORMAL. Yes, we can look at it, yes we can diagnose it. NO NOT FOR FREE. We usually don't even touch non-Harleys (aside from their safety inspections before they go up for sale).

Argue with whoever you like, I don't care, they will not be as nice as I was.

And NO you did not speak to the owner of Texas Choppers (and he did not tell you that the noise was not normal).
a) Texas Choppers is NOT a company. It is a model made by American Ironhorse.
b) American Ironhorse WENT OUT OF PRODUCTION over a YEAR ago.

Throw a tantrum in my showroom. Cool. I have tried to explain this to you, I have tried to reason with you, I even tried to knock down the price of the diagnostic (that you don't need). I'm walking away.

Thanks.

This is a suck/wtf that was going on while I was having my lunch break at work a couple of weeks ago. One of the assistant managers had been dealing with a very stubborn customer who would not take 'no' for an answer and had come up to the staff canteen to get help from the store manager, who was also having her lunch break at the time. The AM was telling the SM what had been happening...and of course everyone in the staff room was listening in >w> I'll write it in script mode, but as it's second hand it obviously isn't word for word, especially the dialog between the member of staff and the customer because that's third hand (the member of staff told the AM who then told us).

SC: Stubborn Customer
MS: Member of Staff
AM: Assistant Manager

MS is restocking near the store Christmas tree, which is decorated with lots of shiney round baubles in the store's colours. SC walks up to MS and asks for her help.
SC: The decorations on your tree are beautiful, are they for sale?
MS: No, sorry, we don't sell Christmas decorations.
SC: But surely if you have them on display then you should have them for sale?
MS: Well, the ones on the tree are made specifically for the store as they are the store's colours. The tree is there purely for decoration, neither it nor anything on it are for sale.
SC: Right, well, I'd like to speak to your manager about that.
MS: *gets AM and updates her on the situation while bringing her over to SC*
SC: Are you a manager?
AM: I am, and I understand that you're interested in the decorations on the tree. I know they're lovely, but unfortunately we don't sell them in the store as they're a company design and only there to add a bit of festive cheer to the place. There are probably similar ones in <insert store names here> though :)
SC: Well it's the colours that I really like as they would look perfect in my living room, and if they're the store colours then they probably won't sell them anywhere else. How much would you be willing to sell them for?
AM: ...sorry?
SC: I want to buy the baubles, just name the price. I can pay by cash if it makes it easier.
AM: I'm sorry, but they're not for sale
SC: Why not?! Can't I just give you some money for them? How about if I order them from the supplier?
AM: They aren't store merchandise so we can't sell them to customers. There's no way to log them on our system because they don't have a bar code, and we only get however many we're given so we can't order them for customers. <insert stuff about store policy etc etc>
SC: Well that's got to be false advertising. You have them on display, therefore they must be for sale. I'm offering to pay for them so I don't see what the problem is, or do you not want to make a profit? I want to speak to the store manager NOW, this is absolutely ridiculous.
AM: The store manager is on her lunch break at the moment, but even if I did get her she would tell you the same thing. The baubles are not for sale, they are there only for decorative purposes and no-where do we advertise them as being for sale. I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do.

Apparently at this point the customer starts kicking and screaming like a spoilt child and causing a huge fuss. She demands that she be sold the baubles, going on about false advertising and consumer rights, and will not leave the store until she has seen the store manager. The AM agrees to get the SM and comes up to the staff room to explain the situation. We all listen, amused and slightly bewildered, and the SM agrees to go down and see the customer.

About 15 minutes later, the SM comes back up looking frustrated and we ask her what happened. Apparently, the customer refused to leave the store and kept offering money for the baubles but wouldn't take no for an answer, and eventually they had to threaten to call security because she was causing such a fuss xD;

What I really didn't get was why she was so desperate to have those baubles...I mean, the baubles are nice, but not that nice, and you could probably get similar ones anywhere...really nothing to cause such a fuss over e_e

Dear customers:

Those shopping carts up at the front of the store? They are not for show. I'm sure you people see them in various other stores and know their general function (ie, if you're buying more things than will fit in your arms, you put your items in them so that you can hang onto all your stuff.) It's not exactly rocket science. They've been around a while.

So why is it that the moment you set foot in a fabric store, you forget this? Why do you think the appropriate course of action is "Hey, fabric wench! Can I toss my bolts all over your cutting area and then wander off to find more?"

Cause the answer to that question is FUCK NO, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT'S OKAY? I need that space to roll out fabric, dammit! It is not for you to drop your shit on! If you can't carry your bolts in your arms, then get a goddamn cart. Get two carts, if you're feeling enthusiastic or buying the bulky stuff. Just don't clutter up my workspace.

Bonus is when you leave your shit at the counter when no one's there, then whine when the first employee to walk by assumes that the pile of unattended bolts is recovery and puts 'em all away. Serves your lazy ass right. This isn't your living room, you can't pile crap wherever and expect everyone else to maneuver around it.

No love
Your now-grumpy fabric wench.